Hey guys, I don’t know if anyone looks at this thing, or if I am just writing to write.  I read these posts over the last few months (there aren’t many), and I wonder why I am always writing about the bad and never the good.  I do have some good in my life… I have some friends, even if we don’t hang as much as I would like. I have a roof over my head, a car that runs, money in my bank account (although not much), and I have clothes on my back. So I have to ask myself why am I starting to shed tears while writing this?  Why do I feel like I am alone in this world? I have a loving God that is always here, with me, when I need Him, and when I feel I don’t!!! So, why?

Having never been in a serious relationship (I’m 26, what the hell). I wonder what it feels like…  is it as painful as feeling like your going to be sick one sec, then as joyful as hanging on every word? I know I don’t know, but I wish, wonder, and hope.

I look around at my friends, 2 of them are married, 1 is in, what I would call, a serious relationship, and the rest are well, just going through life.  I see how happy they are and I wonder why am I not that way?  I wonder why… Why do I always seem to look at the dark side? why do I always feel alone? why am I 26 and still living at home?

It is a strange feeling, I guess one may diagnose me as depressed, maybe severely.  But I get up in the mornings, I get dressed, take a shower (not in that order of course), and I feel things around me. I notice those around me, and I wonder what they are thinking.  I wonder if they are feeling the same as I am. In this day of digital domains, cell phones, laptops, social networks, and Google are we losing our ability to communicate with those around us? To interact with them on a personal level?

I use the term relationship a lot, or at least I think I do.  And I wonder have we lost the true meaning of that word, that lone word that can define so many of us? Everyone from your son or daughter, to the goth girl serving coffee at the local Starbucks shares a relationship with you.  Wither that is on a personal level or not, it is there. So I leave you tonight, not with my dive into my psyche, but a question… how do you view your relationships?